She said her name was "party"
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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