well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
