Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
