he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize