So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Too much gin, very little bucket
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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