It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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