Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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