if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize