Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
