Nicole vs. Life
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
