I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
