I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
