Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
