I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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