Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
