Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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