I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
