i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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