so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
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I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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