my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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