I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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