i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
