whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
