Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
