If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My dick has a subreddit
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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