Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize