That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
