I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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