Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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