Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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