I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
