He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
