he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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