a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
