We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
