I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize