i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
