Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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