Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
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I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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