i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
