They should really pass out barf bags in church
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
