He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
