if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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