i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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