ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.