I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
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Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
The 17 Absolute Worst Divorces Imaginable
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol