I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
