He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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