i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
