My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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