its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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