I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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