Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
