he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
