in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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