but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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