Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
