The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.