Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
My throat feels like a candle.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass