That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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