Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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