I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.