The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
