just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.