It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
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I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
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there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.