do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.