Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.