No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
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I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high