Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
