I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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