Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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