Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
