Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize