i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Randomize
