I don't think brook has ever known best
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
