I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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