; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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