Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
