6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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