I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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