I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
